Thai websites

As an ex-resident of Thailand I like to  follow a few Thai websites. They come and go but a few of the older ones have stayed the course. Stickman and Thaivisa for instance have been around almost as long as the internet but there are a few other sites that help me keep up with changes in the Land of Smiles as us old Thai hands like to call it.

Some cynics say the smiles have always been superficial but not me. I was lucky enough to catch a few genuine ones in my time. I'm talking 20-30 years ago when a beer set you back 10 baht. Nowadays though smiles do seem to be getting thin on the ground. Thailand has lost whatever innocence it had I think....mainly due to the internet but also because it has become part of the real world. A victim of its own success you could say.

People keep going to Thailand though. More all the time. Tourists, sex  and otherwise, backpackers, criminals on the run etc. etc. It's a fun place. The Full Moon Party has become a rite of passage for young revellers. And Songkran is great. You don't need clothes.

So here are a few Thai websites that may interest old timers and newbies alike. I'm not bothering with the boring ones that just want to sell crap. Nobody reads them anyway.

Let's look at Stickman first. Stick lives in New Zealand now but he knows Bangkok, especially the naughty nightlife and he somehow manages to keep up with new developments. He publishes a column every week and his site is a mine of information. The archives go back years.

Thai Visa. It's mainly geared to the owner's commercial instincts but it covers a lot of ground. Very good if you are trying to figure out ever-changing visa restrictions. The forum is great too. Lots of Thai experts there. If you want to get into pointless arguments with people you will hopefully never meet TV is the place.

Pattaya Addicts is run by a bloke called Bryan Flowers. He's a Brit, lives in Pattaya, owns a bunch of girlie bars and he isn't shy about who knows it. Bryan likes to live dangerously and has a very interesting site.

Pattaya Secrets. has been going for a long time. They have a bar, restaurant and hotel in Pattaya so obviously they have a bit of a bias. But the forum is lively and loaded with info from punters who know Pattaya. You can ask them anything within reason.

There are other sites (and blogs) which seem to get by on news clips, gossip and a bit of advertising... Coconuts, Thailand Law Forum, Stickboy Bangkok (wonder how he came up with that name) and Thai 360 which is like a club for cranky old timers but open to new members if they behave themselves.

I've probably missed a few and some of the links won't work but I do my best. Nobody's perfect.

Mustn't forget Andrew Drummond a journalist who covers murders, suicides, rapes, scams and ripoffs. Thailand has its fair share of those.

Happy Hour Pt. 2. Ladyboys!

 

Simon and Arthur are still enjoying pre-go-go beers outside Nana Plaza. They aren't quite ready to plunge in to an actual bar.

Arthur of course has seen it all before but it's new to Simon. He watches the action in the plaza. It’s much as he imagined it but more so. He hadn’t counted on the smells and the constant noise or the muffled ‘thump’ of go-go music somewhere off to stage left. Nor had he expected such a vast variety of sex tourists. He’d seen more than enough documentaries about Bangkok’s lurid sex trade but here they were in the flesh. Very much so. There are the predictable middle-aged men but, surprisingly, a lot of younger ones too, wearing football shirts, many with their Thai girlfriends. The girls themselves are more Westernized than he’d imagined, most wear jeans and carry cell-phones, many sport bright red hair, piercings and tattoos.

He watches intently as Thai girls and foreign men come and go and touts try to lure them into the bars. Their conversation takes place to the strains of Hotel California*. Most Bangkok expats know every note of the guitar break.

"Your friends didn't waste much time." Says Arthur indicating Simon's producer and cameraman leaving the plaza now accompanied by two exotic Thai ladies.  A little too exotic perhaps.

"Ladyboys," says Arthur, "they tend to overdo it."

"Good God," says Simon, "I expect they want to interview them for the program."

"Probably," says Arthur, "I understand transgender issues are all the rage in the West. You’ll find the full range here. All genders and tastes.  Everything from go-go bars to massage parlours. If you're looking for a quick blowjob I know a good place…..”

“Thanks Arthur. Not right now.”

“I’m just kidding. Wouldn’t want you to catch anything. So how’s London these days?"

“Bloody awful really. You finally find a place to park and somebody comes along and stabs you.”

“That bad.”

“Well I’m exaggerating. But it’s not good. And don’t get me started on politics.”

“How about religion?”

“That’s turned into a sort of multicultural atheism.”

*Don Felder wrote Hotel California in a beach house in Malibu. He has been fighting with Glenn Frey and Don Henley over money ever since. Glenn Frey died recently. Joe Walsh had a triple bypass. Did it himself at home.

Carriacou

The Grenadines is a delightful string of islands running South from St.Vincent or North from Grenada depending on your perspective. They used to build boats there. Gaff rigged, somewhat cumbersome, vessels called Carriacou schooners. They were used for cargo and you still see them around. Nowadays of course it’s a place for rich pampered bastards, misfits like myself and envious riff-raff,

“Oh look Dick!!” shouts Oscar excitedly, “That’s Mustique over there! See if you can get closer.”

Mustique is famous for its celebrity residents. Mick Jagger has a place there, as does Felix Dennis and Princess Margaret. Who knows what they all get up to there. Rumour has it that the actor cum psychopath John Bindon known as ‘Biffo’ in Fulham, famously bonked Princess Margaret on the beach. More than once most likely. Apparently he had a massive knob.

What’s Oscar up to now? He’s got his binoculars out. Surely he doesn’t expect us to drop in there unannounced? We'll get fed to the dobermans. Dobermen? I steer the vessel as close as I dare and sure enough somebody fires a couple of warning shots across our bows. It's the Princess herself with a shotgun.

So I’m running up the Jolly Roger hoping she’ll think we’re Johnny Depp stopping for a quick snort. Meanwhile Oscar’s looking through his high-powered binoculars to see if he can catch a glimpse of John Bindon’s plonker.

Cut a long story short it must have been Jerry Hall’s turn on the shore battery because next thing I know a sodding great Exocet missile flies just over our heads. “Shit,” says Oscar, “that’s a big one. Those things don’t come cheap Dick. Here have a look.”

"By golly you're right Oscar," I quip, "I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that size."

Oh how we chuckled as it flew over our heads and splashed harmlessly in the sea. Must have been a dud.