I couldn't sleep last
night. Some woman was screaming at me. Telling me how offensive I am. Did I mention I've been reading 'The Corrections' by Jonathan Franzen?'?
No? Well I have. It's about an American family. Anyway there's a scene on
a cruise ship where a doctor prescribes pills that alleviate shame and it kept going
round in my head. The whole thing got mixed up with another family in 'American
Pastoral' by Philip Roth who have a mixed up teenage daughter. So I'm wandering
round the house groping for the Mountgay when I notice a flickering from what
we call the TV room. It's a sort of entertainment center off the main living
room. Inside I find Oscar flipping through the channels. He is wearing his
Glenn Beck Gangster Vest and nothing else.
"What's up?" I
ask. "Can't sleep?" He nods. Obviously not feeling very chatty. He's
just slumped there with a bottle in one hand and the remote in the other. The
channels flip by. We watch a few minutes of Larry King interviewing Pamela
Anderson. She seems like a nice girl. Larry and Pam discuss implants. Then
Pamela mentions she's been a bit bored since she split up with Tommy Lee.
Ah-hah I think. Now's your chance Dick. Maybe I'll invite her down for the
weekend. Next we get a few seconds of Bush going on about nucular weapons. Then
it's 'Air America' (Mel Gibson and the girls from the Black Cat Bar in Chiang
Mai). Half a minute of some bloke in front of a big map. Strippers...then...out
of nowhere...
"Bloody hell Oscar look at that!"
"What?"
"On the telly....what channel's that for fuckssake?" I can't hardly believe my eyes!! There's a group of blokes playing guitar on the telly. One of them is Lemmy Kilmister! Lemmy! There he stands with his bass and there's Dave Gilmour and Mark Knopfler and some other blokes...what's going on here?
Must be French and Saunders I decide. Couple of funny girls they are. Anyway it didn't last long then it was back to casinos in Biloxi, Hunter Thompson's funeral and some bloke flogging blenders. I suppose it must all mean something. I went back to bed.
"Bloody hell Oscar look at that!"
"What?"
"On the telly....what channel's that for fuckssake?" I can't hardly believe my eyes!! There's a group of blokes playing guitar on the telly. One of them is Lemmy Kilmister! Lemmy! There he stands with his bass and there's Dave Gilmour and Mark Knopfler and some other blokes...what's going on here?
Must be French and Saunders I decide. Couple of funny girls they are. Anyway it didn't last long then it was back to casinos in Biloxi, Hunter Thompson's funeral and some bloke flogging blenders. I suppose it must all mean something. I went back to bed.
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