We have gone as far as we can on the golf carts then Oscar puts the hand brake on and we get off and start unloading the stuff.
After a short walk we need to get our breath back. Breaths I should say.
Our respective breaths. It’s already bloody hot and the sun is
blazing down on us.
So we sit on a rock and look out towards Sir Richard's place. I notice Oscar has brought his high-powered binoculars along. I decide to mention it.
“Oscar,” I say, “I notice you have brought your high-powered binoculars along.”
“Yes Dick.” Says Oscar. “That is correct. I have indeed brought my high-powered binoculars along.”
“Any particular reason?” I ask.
“Yes Dick. I am hoping to catch some of the goings on over at Neckar Island. A flash of celebrity tit perhaps or even a glimpse of Sir Richard’s you know what. They swim nude over there you know.”
“Really. I’m surprised you can make out that kind of detail.”
He passes me the glasses. “Here Dick, have a look at that.”
At first all I can see is a swimming pool surrounded by lush jungle foliage then I notice a figure on a diving board. A male figure, bollock naked!
“That’s amazing.” I say.
“Told you.” Says Oscar, “you won’t see things like that on Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous.”
A large iguana scuttles past. Large by local standards. Iguana delicatissima I think. Anyway it scuttles past.
“This is like waiting for Godot a bit,” I observe.
“Yes and no.” says Oscar. “Just can't stop making literary references can you Headley? Is it that you want to show off your cultural acumen? If so I'm not impressed. It's nothing like Becket. How can you compare 2 rich old farts staring at Richard Branson through binoculars with one of the world's great modern existential playwrights? Hmmm? Answer that if you can.”
“I’m at a loss for an answer.” I say.
“That’s what I thought. Anyway that’s enough idle banter, let’s get on with the digging.”
So we start digging in what we hope is the right spot.
So we sit on a rock and look out towards Sir Richard's place. I notice Oscar has brought his high-powered binoculars along. I decide to mention it.
“Oscar,” I say, “I notice you have brought your high-powered binoculars along.”
“Yes Dick.” Says Oscar. “That is correct. I have indeed brought my high-powered binoculars along.”
“Any particular reason?” I ask.
“Yes Dick. I am hoping to catch some of the goings on over at Neckar Island. A flash of celebrity tit perhaps or even a glimpse of Sir Richard’s you know what. They swim nude over there you know.”
“Really. I’m surprised you can make out that kind of detail.”
He passes me the glasses. “Here Dick, have a look at that.”
At first all I can see is a swimming pool surrounded by lush jungle foliage then I notice a figure on a diving board. A male figure, bollock naked!
“That’s amazing.” I say.
“Told you.” Says Oscar, “you won’t see things like that on Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous.”
A large iguana scuttles past. Large by local standards. Iguana delicatissima I think. Anyway it scuttles past.
“This is like waiting for Godot a bit,” I observe.
“Yes and no.” says Oscar. “Just can't stop making literary references can you Headley? Is it that you want to show off your cultural acumen? If so I'm not impressed. It's nothing like Becket. How can you compare 2 rich old farts staring at Richard Branson through binoculars with one of the world's great modern existential playwrights? Hmmm? Answer that if you can.”
“I’m at a loss for an answer.” I say.
“That’s what I thought. Anyway that’s enough idle banter, let’s get on with the digging.”
So we start digging in what we hope is the right spot.
This may be a good time to mention when me and Oscar aren’t blind drunk we like to do a bit of online research on various esoteric subjects. We were up all last night studying the geology of the Caribbean. Our reasons are twofold. To improve our general knowledge of the region of course and to find out what sort of strata we might encounter when we start digging. The tectonic plates are very complex. As are the numerous accretionary wedges.
So I’m swinging the pick while Oscar shovels. At first it's fairly easy going. The soil is loose and sandy but after a while we begin to encounter larger rocks and soon we are sweating and heaving on bloody great lumps of schist.
“Hell with this schist.” I say. “I need a rest.”
But Oscar will have none of it. “Look Dick,” he says excitedly, “see how there are obvious indications of a pit. Somebody, at some point in time, has dug a shaft down through the coral then filled it in with rocks. Note how the sides are undisturbed. We are on the right track Dick. Don't stop now.” To be continued….
o
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