Bangkok2.

I see I left Arthur dangling. That’s the trouble with all these tense and location changes. Some sort of guideline would help. Maybe even a synopsis. I’ll see what I can do.

So here’s Arthur in Bangkok in the present tense.

He’s actually feeling pretty good this morning. Things have gone well ever since he got out of bed. He’d got his underpants on without snagging any tackle and his trousers on without tripping, he’d located his shoes and socks much where he’d left them. He hadn’t dropped his toothbrush in the toilet; a fair-sized turd had emerged on time and reasonably solid. The nose cone had hit the water with a satisfying splash. Even the semi-colon feels right. It just might be one of those days when nothing the Thais can throw at him will make a difference. A good day for internal monologue and serious procrastination. Things could be worse.

Arthur hits the street and soon he’s weaving his way through the vendors and tourists and motorbikes and beggars and fake monks and sleeping dogs and burning pepper smoke etc.

If you don’t already know the Sukhumvit area is popular with expats. It’s a busy street, lots of vendors and lots of places to enjoy a beer. It’s easy to find someone to talk to if that’s what you want. Just don’t let them sit on your lap.

He makes it past the fried grasshoppers. Past the racks of Ronaldhino shirts, deftly dodging the porn DVDs, flick knives, knuckle dusters, cell-phones, batteries and the mountains of Gucci luggage. Amazing Thailand indeed. Arthur is amazed that he ever found it amazing. It’s hot. He needs to replace some of the liquid lost on the short journey from the BTS station. The Golden Bar will do perfectly. Not too crowded and there’s a table with a view of the street. Arthur settles in and looks around.

There they all are. Middle-aged expats and Thai girls mostly, talking, laughing and doing all the things people do. Humanity going about its daily dance. Is it all just hormones? Survival at its most elemental? Or is there some great plan behind it all? His own libido seems to have taken an extended holiday wherever libidos go. He sees nothing attractive about the girls….unlike a large farang who has just ensconced himself at the next table. Just in from the Gulf most likely and a man who clearly loves Thailand if the cluster of Buddhist amulets on a gold chain round his neck is anything to go by. The man wais the girls and they move in like friendly piranhas. He buys drinks all round, the music is cranked up, the girls wave their arms above their heads, it’s party time, happy-happy!

Arthur watches. No hint of judgment in his expression. Over the years Arthur has become quite adept at blending in. He has listened to more instantly forgettable bar room banter than he cares to remember. He can nod and chat, even guffaw, with the best of them. But today he just wants to sit and think.

A haggard looking woman with somebody’s baby on her back dangles a styrofoam cup in front of Arthur’s face, another small boy is doing a trick with coins, sticking them up his nostrils but Arthur is wise to that one, make eye contact and you’re lost. Another kid approaches a group of plump young Englishmen, cropped hair, football shirts. He shows them a round shiny object.  ‘10 baht,’ says the young salesman. A moral compass most likely thinks Arthur. People are always losing them round here. The feeding frenzy at the next table is over, the girls disperse in search of new victims.

Arthur lives in his own mind mostly. Sometimes his mind seems to have a mind of its own. It just wanders. Like most expats in Bangkok he’s working on a book. That means he thinks a lot and every now and then he’ll jot down some of his thoughts. Then he tries to think of a plot to hang them on. Writing requires a certain discipline. It’s not easy.

So that’s it for now. You’ve had a peek at the seamy side of Bangkok and you didn’t get sucked in. Very sensible. There is something mysterious about Thailand, something very attractive and hard to grasp that defies Western logic. It will show you things about yourself but it may drive you mad in the process. And you’ve met Arthur briefly. He’s an example of someone who did get sucked in. He may well be on the verge of madness. Watch him now as he wanders into an internet café full of Thai girls texting or tweeting or skyping or whatever it is they do….telling their farang boyfriends to send money mostly. All that internet and social network stuff leaves Arthur cold but he likes to check his email now and then…in fact he is about to get a surprise… an email from Simon who he hasn’t seen in 30 years awaits him! Simon is now a successful BBC producer and talk show host. He is coming to Bangkok soon to make a documentary. He wonders if his old friend Arthur is still there? If so would he be interested in a job as a consultant? He can expect to be lavishly compensated. RSVP.