Delicate readers may want to skip this next bit. It deals with sex tourism in Thailand. The exploitation of third-world women by Western men. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Arthur certainly isn’t the first to get the bug. Yellow Fever is what US troops in Vietnam called it. A fixation with Asian nooky to be blunt. I’d see it all the time when I had the bar in Pattaya. Blokes arriving in Thailand falling in love with bar girls on their first night out. Happens a lot. Maybe they’ve just got divorced or maybe they’re going through some kind of mid-life crisis. Thailand is tailor made for them. Dreamers. Bar Buddhists. Thinkers with the Small Brain. All looking for Miss Perfect.
They’d come in the bar see a couple of dancers and their eyes were popping out their heads. You’d think they’d never seen a tit before. And they don’t bloody listen. Waste of breath telling them to be careful. Gone they are. Oblivious. Spend money like water. They think the bad stuff only happens to other people.
Which brings me to my next minor digression.
Mate of mine in London sent a bloke over. Nice fella. He’s just split up with his wife and my mate thought a couple of weeks in Thailand would help him get his mind of his troubles. Tells him about me of course. Good old Dick. The bloke with a bar in Pattaya. He knows what’s going on. He’ll see you all right.
So he wanders in one afternoon and introduces himself. He looks happy enough but that doesn’t mean much. We talk about this and that, have a few beers and off he goes for a kip. Fair enough. He’s back in the evening and I can tell he’s made a decision. He’s going to take one of the girls out…just to see how it feels. Nothing serious. I ask him if he fancies anyone in particular and he points to Nok. Good choice for a first timer. Nice girl is Nok. More honest than most and not as hard as some of them get.
I catch her eye and she joins us. I can tell he’s a bit shy so I suggest he buys her a Ladies Drink. It’s only Cola of course but we charge for Tequila. It’s a business right? Then I leave them too it. I can tell he’s hooked and Nok seems happy about it so I just wander off and let nature take its course. My work here is done. Think of me as Cupid.
So I think no more about it to be honest. He paid Nok’s barfine for 3 nights and I think they went bar-hopping or shopping or something. Or maybe they stayed in bed for three days. Not unusual in Pattaya. Good luck to him.
It’s an excuse to write a short story…..
‘MISS PERFECT’ A
love story in 4 parts.
Don’t laugh. I never thought it would happen to me again to be honest. My mates tell me I’m a hard bastard and after I split up with my wife I just wasn’t in the mood. She got the house and the kids and I swore I was off women for good. And I’m not daft if that’s what your (sic) thinking. I’ve read Private Dancer and I’ve heard all the stories. Well after you’ve been in Thailand a few months you do don’t you? Blokes losing all their money, jumping off buildings or getting their dicks cut off. It won’t happen to me don’t worry. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of these miserable buggers that you run into all the time here either. You can call me cynical but I know how to have fun.
OK I know what you’re thinking. No fool like an old fool right? But trust me. This girl really is different. You’ll meet her in a minute.
It started in the usual way. I’m in NEP, one of those outside bars, and she comes to sit with me. Gorgeous little thing. I buy her a drink of course not really thinking much past that and she just sits there looking at me.
I’d just spent a few hours in one of them blow-job places so I wasn’t actually looking for action tell the truth but I didn’t have any objections either. Here we go again I think, another night in Bangkok, ladies drink, barfine, hotel, shower, blow job, usual stuff but when I actually got her lined up on the bed something strange happens. Nice tits, very nice bum, perfect pussy…but it’s the way she looks at me after that does it. I can’t explain. I just know I’ve found a keeper.
Next morning she says it, right off the bat. ‘You good man. I want stay with you.’ Hallo I think, here comes the bullshit. Let me guess, sick buffalo, old mum in hospital, Thai boyfriend round the corner. “I no hab family.’ She says, ‘no friend me Bangkok. I all alone.’ Right. So of course I do a little interrogation and she tells me she’s just arrived in Bangkok from Udon Something and she’s living with some girls who she doesn’t like and would it be all right if she stays with me for a few days until she gets sorted like. Naturally I ask her how much she wants and get the old ‘up to you’.
I’m not one to rush into anything. So I take her for breakfast in that place under Robinson’s. We both have the noodle soup and I watch her looking round the place. The way she’s taking it in I can tell she really is straight off the farm. I ask her if she wants to do a bit of shopping and she says no I go home now. And she still hasn’t asked me for any money. Not yet. Before we leave I pass her a thousand bath note thinking she’s going to turn her nose up at it but no. She gives me a little wai and tucks the money away somewhere like they do. After that I put her in a taxi and go looking for a game of pool which I change me mind about because I can’t concentrate. Anyway, long story short I had a bit of a nap in the afternoon and I wake up thinking about her. A part of me knows it’s stupid but another part says so what?
Right here we are now in Nana and as I get near her bar it looks like she’s already spotted me. Her smile has lit up the whole plaza. Look out she’s coming over. I give her a little hug. Nothing too obvious.
‘You OK Mr. John?’ she asks.
‘OK,’ I say.
‘I wait you.’ She says.
I’m definitely OK but there’s a problem. A couple of blokes down the bar are watching all this. One of them’s got his eye on her I can tell. This is what I don’t like. Any dickhead with a couple of thousand baht can fuck her. It ain’t right.
I’m not a bad looking bloke. Bit heavy round the middle maybe but not like some blokes you see around. Still let’s be honest I’m not exactly Brad Pitt either. I ask her why she likes me and I can see her little brain ticking away. I don’t think she really likes answering questions like that but she says ‘you same same father me.’ Fair enough. I’ll be dad. Whatever she wants. I’m going to barfine her again that’s obvious.
To be continued…
Don’t laugh. I never thought it would happen to me again to be honest. My mates tell me I’m a hard bastard and after I split up with my wife I just wasn’t in the mood. She got the house and the kids and I swore I was off women for good. And I’m not daft if that’s what your (sic) thinking. I’ve read Private Dancer and I’ve heard all the stories. Well after you’ve been in Thailand a few months you do don’t you? Blokes losing all their money, jumping off buildings or getting their dicks cut off. It won’t happen to me don’t worry. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of these miserable buggers that you run into all the time here either. You can call me cynical but I know how to have fun.
OK I know what you’re thinking. No fool like an old fool right? But trust me. This girl really is different. You’ll meet her in a minute.
It started in the usual way. I’m in NEP, one of those outside bars, and she comes to sit with me. Gorgeous little thing. I buy her a drink of course not really thinking much past that and she just sits there looking at me.
I’d just spent a few hours in one of them blow-job places so I wasn’t actually looking for action tell the truth but I didn’t have any objections either. Here we go again I think, another night in Bangkok, ladies drink, barfine, hotel, shower, blow job, usual stuff but when I actually got her lined up on the bed something strange happens. Nice tits, very nice bum, perfect pussy…but it’s the way she looks at me after that does it. I can’t explain. I just know I’ve found a keeper.
Next morning she says it, right off the bat. ‘You good man. I want stay with you.’ Hallo I think, here comes the bullshit. Let me guess, sick buffalo, old mum in hospital, Thai boyfriend round the corner. “I no hab family.’ She says, ‘no friend me Bangkok. I all alone.’ Right. So of course I do a little interrogation and she tells me she’s just arrived in Bangkok from Udon Something and she’s living with some girls who she doesn’t like and would it be all right if she stays with me for a few days until she gets sorted like. Naturally I ask her how much she wants and get the old ‘up to you’.
I’m not one to rush into anything. So I take her for breakfast in that place under Robinson’s. We both have the noodle soup and I watch her looking round the place. The way she’s taking it in I can tell she really is straight off the farm. I ask her if she wants to do a bit of shopping and she says no I go home now. And she still hasn’t asked me for any money. Not yet. Before we leave I pass her a thousand bath note thinking she’s going to turn her nose up at it but no. She gives me a little wai and tucks the money away somewhere like they do. After that I put her in a taxi and go looking for a game of pool which I change me mind about because I can’t concentrate. Anyway, long story short I had a bit of a nap in the afternoon and I wake up thinking about her. A part of me knows it’s stupid but another part says so what?
Right here we are now in Nana and as I get near her bar it looks like she’s already spotted me. Her smile has lit up the whole plaza. Look out she’s coming over. I give her a little hug. Nothing too obvious.
‘You OK Mr. John?’ she asks.
‘OK,’ I say.
‘I wait you.’ She says.
I’m definitely OK but there’s a problem. A couple of blokes down the bar are watching all this. One of them’s got his eye on her I can tell. This is what I don’t like. Any dickhead with a couple of thousand baht can fuck her. It ain’t right.
I’m not a bad looking bloke. Bit heavy round the middle maybe but not like some blokes you see around. Still let’s be honest I’m not exactly Brad Pitt either. I ask her why she likes me and I can see her little brain ticking away. I don’t think she really likes answering questions like that but she says ‘you same same father me.’ Fair enough. I’ll be dad. Whatever she wants. I’m going to barfine her again that’s obvious.
To be continued…
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